"You're too important for anyone
There's something wrong with everything you see
But I know who you really are.
You're the one who cries when you're alone."
--Evanescence, "Where Will You Go"
I saw Rick's daughter today. The one he didn't claim back in 1988.. Now that he is already saddled with one kid (and a step kid) I guess he figured it was ok to acknowledge this one, too.
He has told me that her name is Shaya. and that he didn't even know about her until 6 years ago. My answer to that is "O RLY??" Her mother was a couple years ahead of me in school and when she learned I was dating Rick she told me that I should stay away from him because he got her pregnant and took off. When I confronted him about it he said that she was lying and that he wouldn't be caught dead with a fat ass like her. Hmm...interesting. His current wife is a bit on the chunky side so I guess he must like 'em thick.
It was disquieting to see the pictures. She looks just like him. Same eyes and lips. Even the way she was holding her mouth in one picture was just like his sarcastic, cynical grin. It made me think of....well, what almost was. I know that the Universe has me right where I'm supposed to be and I have no regrets but it does cross my mind every Oct. 18. I remember telling him about it after the fact and he said, "I know, sweetheart. I felt so responsible for that." PFFFT.
So, how gothy and mysterious are we now, Rick? 2 stepkids, a short fat wife (whom I actually respect. I actually think I would like this lady) and a baby later? A baby you told me you didn't even want. You wanted her to abort the child. That is just so wrong. Oh, yes, Dark Blood Drinking Prince. I see.
I can safely say I have never met such a narcissistic man in my life.. Everything has always been about him. I want to say I wasted three years of my life on him but I can't say it was wasted. I did find in him a kindred spirit. I just gave away more of myself than I should have and I learned to never make that mistake again. I guess I should thank him for giving me this hardened heart. Now I won't be walked on by anyone again.
As self centered as he is, I know his heart and I know that he is really a wounded boy. I saw it back then and I see it even more clearly now. He felt isolated from his peers, shunned by his father, disliked by his step mother and trapped by the "white trash" stigma of his family. I will agree that he is much better than his family. He is very smart and ha s unique creative ideas that aren't popular here in the Midwest. I am glad for his success and wish him nothing but the best. I just I would have been a bit more careful. I still bear a scar...albeit a tiny one.
It's so weird all this came up today. I was reading Alice Hoffman's "Here on Earth" last night for the second time as I haven't been to the library yet. It's a modern day "Wuthering Heights" and I always saw Rick as the character, Hollis. (As an ironic side note, in the book Hollis flees to Florida of all places). The heroine, March, talks so much about the dangerous decisions a girl can make when she is 15 and how those things can haunt her for the rest of her life.. I read a bit of the book last night and slept fitfully. Then I wake up to these photos of Rick's daughter.
Cleansing Breath
But I have exorcised his demon. I exorcised it when I told him to go find his Dark Queen at the local high school. BWA HA HA! I exorcised it when I realized that I was bored with his emails and could really care less what he said. When he joined the Church of Satan, that was it. I worry for him but that's his path and he is free to take it.
~~I can hear you when you whisper but you can't even hear me screaming.~~
SheriffScabs
Corbin